Ah, that everyone would give off such clear signs...

"But I am wearing a bra.  That's how you know I mean business."

Freudian or Jungian?

" I like talking to her better when she's going to her therapist."

When you're 6 months from the fair, sometimes hallucinations seem to happen. This wasn't one.

"I keep being distracted by the pickle.  I keep seeing it out of the corner of my eye.  It's a happy pickle."

One food not made better by frosting.

"It's snowing on our tacos."

Feel free to use hipster angst - you are arriving at Portland International after all.

"OK -- please don't block the exit with affection."

A very Portland thing to say.

"I want to throw this away, but I don't know what type of trash it is."

The speaker was of a demographic that wouldn't understand that, at times, there's no need for enchantment there.

"You know a lot of video games allow you to enchant your own clothes.  Why don't they let you enchant your underwear?  It would open up an additional enchantment slot!"

Bull riding - you have to be tough just to watch.

"He was six inches from an ivory enema."

What, you don't see the similarity?

"So one year in high school, I got straight A's to prove I could".
"Yeah - I did the same thing with toilet paper in college."

Only in my life...

"So here are the two pictures.  This one's good - and this one has more of the kiss but less of the llama."

The closest rail was approximately 4 miles away.

"Save the trains!  Do not mess with the trains!"

Disney, not Out...

"It's a total Pooh house!"

A note to my followers, both of you...

This blog isn't dead.  I just haven't heard/said anything worthy of recording in a while.  Hopefully things will pick up soon.

Fun with the hard of hearing...

"Did you get those here or in Des Plaines?"

"No, i just wiped them off."

It's a wonder we don't have a file called "restraining orders" in our house.

"Stalking is best done from a distance, emotionally and physically.  I can't really stalk them if I get to know them."

Yes this was an engagement discussion

"I was still hungover when I said yes."

He saw the whole cast.

"So do you want me to tell you the story of the first time he went to a strip club, or do you want him tell you himself?"