Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Glad it's breathing - mouth-to-brim resuscitation is really tough

"My imaginary sombrero breaths a sigh of relief"


Saturday, December 31, 2011

Friday, December 16, 2011

My wife is the Roger Ebert of Christmas letters.

"Oh, dear. A second paragraph about Dick the Fish."

Sunday, November 6, 2011

They're unlikely to become a paid endorser.

"I go to the chiropractor, and go to physical therapy 5 days a week. And in between appointments I go home, lay on the floor, and scream."
"So is that working well for you?"
"It's not clear yet..."

Saturday, October 22, 2011

See, someone had ordered a musical-hit on me and Julio down by the schoolyard

"If Paul Simon were dead, he'd be rolling over in his grave."

Monday, September 12, 2011

I wonder if Byron Allen is a gateway drug...

"It's Sarah Purcell's fault that I went skydiving."