You would've thought they taught this in medical school.

"You've been looking up his nose for six months - how could you miss the bean?"

See, fair food isn't always wonderful

"Brain freeze and corn juice in my ear. I'm not having a good moment."

Ah, organizers...

"I can be spontaneous if I plan for it"
"Yeah, spontaneity has its time and place"

Otherwise she seemed like a normal teenager

"So for my 17th birthday my dad bought me a chainsaw"

And this is how you end up with bell pepper wine

"I was just fermenting my way through my freezer, and..."