Think extreme female anatomical modification

"I've never seen anything like it.  And I watch a lot of porn."

This explains my dad's career path

"He had to go into marketing because he couldn't be an acupuncturist."

Now I understand why postpartum depression is so painful

"It's OK, Mom is stapled to the infant."

One should always spread the fun around.

"Always be non-discriminatory in your bigotry."

The real question is "What wouldn't you do...?"

"What would you do with a monkey bowl and a toucan teapot?"