I'm not even sure that I can preface this...

"Is that a corn dog I smell?"
"No. it's my late wife."

It takes meteorological school to teach this stuff

"You need three cherries for a storm like that."

A first for this blog

All the entries in this blog have been spoken, either by me or by someone within earshot of me - until today.  I saw something today so unique, so unexpected, that I cannot let it pass without comment.  And when I tell you what it is, you'll also say "yep, that needed saving for posterity - I never expected to hear of such, let alone see it."  The best part is that I just need two words to describe this enough for your head to spin, and you might just need to sit down and contemplate until you catch your breath.  Are you ready?  Here you go...

Wallpapered urinal.  

From the looks of things, it was in $20s, not in $1s

"I have about $80 left to spend in my bra."

No psychoactive drugs were used in the creation of this quote

"So we go from the chicken dress-up to the flying monkeys."

Does Buddy Holly know about this?

"She'll be back to help you as soon as she's done bagging the crickets."

More interesting is that it was said by a local TV personality

"I still have raw-meat-y hands"

And with that, the court proceedings began.

"I don't want to be her friend, I want to stalk her."

Not taught in business school this way, I'm sure

"It's not an organization model, it's a miracle."

Now *this* is cross-training

"Do you know my friend Judy?  She was a bull inseminator, but she's now in social work."

This isn't any more sensible in context

"I'd stick around to meet the sloth."
"Especially if it's wearing designer clothing."

Again, really good on customer service but poor on the follow-through

"Excuse me, where do you have raisins?"
"You mean bulk raisins?"
"Wow!  You have bulk raisins?"
"Maybe..."

I had to ask for the exact spelling

"I knew there was something in the foomph, but I wasn't sure what."

If this wasn't part of a food-based fundraiser, I'd be worried.

"Could someone over there roll my meatballs"

We aren't laughing at you, Zak, we're enjoying you.

"I don't think that cat would make it well in the outside world."

"I don't think he'd make it into the garage..."

Said by a group of experienced mothers, though not about their kids.

"If there's no school, there's no Joy"

Glad it's breathing - mouth-to-brim resuscitation is really tough

"My imaginary sombrero breaths a sigh of relief"