One food not made better by frosting.

"It's snowing on our tacos."

Feel free to use hipster angst - you are arriving at Portland International after all.

"OK -- please don't block the exit with affection."

A very Portland thing to say.

"I want to throw this away, but I don't know what type of trash it is."

The speaker was of a demographic that wouldn't understand that, at times, there's no need for enchantment there.

"You know a lot of video games allow you to enchant your own clothes.  Why don't they let you enchant your underwear?  It would open up an additional enchantment slot!"

Bull riding - you have to be tough just to watch.

"He was six inches from an ivory enema."

What, you don't see the similarity?

"So one year in high school, I got straight A's to prove I could".
"Yeah - I did the same thing with toilet paper in college."

Only in my life...

"So here are the two pictures.  This one's good - and this one has more of the kiss but less of the llama."