And you thought the neighborhood you grew up in was bad

"She had the most legit doll house I ever saw."

Clearly the expectation bar was low in this case.

"How can you let me down and go murder someone?"

Nor the Gopher...

"That's the beauty of The Love Boat: you never know when the monkey will show up."

It was a project for my benefit - I probably owe someone some chocolate.

"You know those projects where you procrastinate and then when you finally finish it went so quickly you wonder why you put off doing it so long?  This isn't one of those projects."

Surely a menu item called "The Old Timey" is the first one to change

"Is this bacon on 'The Old Timey'?"
"Yes"
"Is that a new thing?"

Yes, these published sentences were approved by the Chamber of Commerce.

"To decide on a new name, the town held a meeting.  Though the first meeting ended in a brawl, the second meeting was more successful."

Think extreme female anatomical modification

"I've never seen anything like it.  And I watch a lot of porn."